crummy

In England we made key lime pie, and it turns out to be very easy for a travelling dish. And reminded us, too, of sweetened condensed milk. I seem to remember that there was often an open can in our Nova Scotia fridge, with a teaspoon stuck in it. Maybe it's sovereign for a rainy climate.

Key Lime Pie

In a plastic bag, bash 20 graham crackers, or about as many digestive cookies as you think looks right, into crumbs. Stir in 1/3 or maybe 1/2 cup melted butter, whatever the crumbs demand, and 2 T white sugar and mix well, then press into the bottom and a little up the sides of a 9" springform pan. Bake for 10 minutes at 350º

While the crust bakes, mix 4 egg yoks, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk (just called condensed milk in Britain) and the juice of three limes. You can use as much zest as you like, but just stir this together, don't let it get bubbly. It will thicken a little. Pour the filling into the crust hot from the oven and put it back in for 12 minutes, just long enough to set the eggs. Stick in the fridge for at least 8 hours, and there you are. Not much mess in somebody else's kitchen, either.

These are those old bars made with Bordens. The ingredients list is more of a guideline than a rule—use whatever you happen to have on hand for toppings.

Marvel Bars

3 cups finely ground graham crackers or chocolate wafers, or a combination
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter, melted
1 cup pecan pieces
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips or chunks
1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
1 1/2 cups sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat oven to 375°. Lightly splash a 15-by-10-inch rimmed baking sheet evenly with water, then line with parchment paper. Do not neglect this step or you will be sorry. In a large bowl, stir together cookie crumbs, sugar, and butter until combined. Evenly press onto bottom and up sides of prepared baking sheet. Bake about 10 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack; cool, about 20 minutes. Sprinkle cooled crust evenly with pecans and chocolate. Pour condensed milk over the top, spreading to cover completely (do not let it drip over the edges). Sprinkle with coconut. Bake until coconut is toasted, 10 to 15 minutes. Transfer to rack; cool completely. Trim edges, if desired, and cut into equal-size bars.

But only eat one. Your teeth will ache.